352MC Professional Photographic Practice – Drafts for my Accompanying Text

As you have most likely seen within the “352MC Professional photographic Practice – Text Experiment” blog post, I spent time experimenting with a variety of different textual styles for the accompanying text of my final piece, before deciding on using a personal and creative style that also incorporates a description of the landscape in the photograph (for more information on this, please visit the suggested blog post).

Towards the ends of this post, I then stated that the next stage of my development is to write a piece of text (using this style) to accompany each of the locations I am including within my FMP collection, whilst also spending time writing numerous drafts until I have created a piece of writing that I feel I am happy with, as well as making sure that it successfully enhances the viewers contextualized understanding surrounding the personal concept of the project, thus making it more accessible for them as an audience.

This blog post has been created in order to evidence the range of drafts that I wrote for each of the locations, which have been included below (in a PDF format), along with a small section of feedback I gained in relation to my text before finalizing the pieces, followed by the piece of text that I will be including within my singular exhibition triptych.

 


 

Drafts of Text:

Please note, any highlighted sections within the text symbolize aspects that I thought needed changing.

Final Text – Draft 1

Final Text – Draft 2

Final Text – Draft 3

Final Text – Draft 4

Final Text – Draft 5

Final Text – Draft 6

Final Text – Draft 7

Final Text – Draft 8

Final Text – Draft 9

Final Text – Draft 10

 

Final Text – Draft 11 – (shown to Anthony Luvera in a one-to-one tutorial on 15th May – please see the blog post entitled “352MC Professional Photographic Practice – Lecture 14 (One-to-One Tutorial with Anthony Luvera)”)

  • Please note, in this particular one-to-one tutorial, when Anthony looked at my accompanying text, he gave me some feedback suggesting that I needed to cut down the length of it, remove some aspects that he thought disturbed the rhythm of the work, experiment with the sentence structure of sections that create an unusual repetition, and cut out the ending – for more detailed information on this feedback, please visit the suggested blog post
  • I therefore used the feedback that I received in this particular session to adjust the text in order to create my finalized pieces

 

Final Text – Draft 12

Final Text – Draft 13

 


 

Final Text (to be included within my singular exhibition triptych):

“Buttermere”:

Looking down to the ground as I listen to the sound of gravel moving under my feet, I continue forward, walking the path I have walked so many times before. Feeling the coolness of the shade as the gentle wind wisps through my hair I draw my head up, greeted by the spectacular view in front of me. I stop, halting the rhythm of my footsteps. Inhaling a deep breath of the cool, spring air, intrigued to see the expanse of the beauty, my gaze wanders over the hazy light, following the edge of the shadow towards the other side of the lake. As I turn, drawing myself away from the dramatic scenery, I focus my eyes on the far away shore, transporting myself back to my childhood.

I am eight years old, standing on the beach I was scrutinising, looking towards my future self. Feeling the sun dance across my back as it peers through the rustling leaves of the trees, I feel the gravel shift under my weight as I focus on your face taking in the scene in front of you. Watching as your wrinkles, formed from years of sincerity, slowly draw back to reveal an unfamiliar grin, I follow the path of your gaze to the two wooden boats docked by the shore, bobbing to the waters ebb and flow. Mesmerised by the tide as it knocks against their hulls, I glance at the rivets of the woodwork, following its grain to the stern of the boat, leading me to Haystacks’ ominous beauty as it penetrates the skyline.

Beginning to understand your unusual enthusiasm, your excitement, I draw my gaze downwards, following the strap around your neck. Pausing at your hands, carefully moulded to the shape of your camera, I delve into my pocket grabbing hold of the small nylon strap, dragging my camera into view. Watching it sway with the motion of the trees, I steady it with quiet uncertainty as I look across to your guiding hand. As you point to the distance, slowly tracing the landscape in front of us, I draw my gaze back up to your face, listening as a stream of words roll off your excitable tongue. 

Hanging on to your every word, I look down to my camera, carefully trying to follow your brisk instructions. Crouching down next to the boats, steadying myself on the uneven cobbles, I look up at you for reassurance. As you greet me with a smile, nodding in encouragement, I slowly draw my attention back to my camera, adjusting my grip. Looking towards the boats in front of me, Haystacks looming above them, the branches of the trees dance to the shape of her peaks as I slowly draw my camera close to my face. Closing one eye as I peer through the viewfinder, shrinking the landscape, its beauty, its significance, I move, slightly adjusting my position, trying to capture its breathtaking atmosphere. Listening as I hear you take a couple of steps back, I feel your presence. Silently waiting, watching.

 

(Please note, I also took the time to experiment with the presentation of this accompanying text in association with the triptych, and this can be found in the blog post entitled “352mc Professional Photographic Practice – Presentation Ideas”)

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